


for what it's worth

by revoleotion



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (but it's just hinted I promise), Character Study, Fluff and Angst, M/M, depressed character, it's projecting your own problems onto fictional characters time, this is not how servamp works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27398989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: “I’m not a pianist anymore,” Licht replied. Lily somehow knew that he had thought a lot about this before saying it, that it didn’t come out of nowhere. Sentences like this needed preparation, they stick with you for an eternity until you can’t hold them in anymore. Licht had not just come up with the statement, chances were that he had thought about it all day long, all week long. Perhaps longer.
Relationships: Arisuin Misono/Snow Lily | All of Love, Licht Jekylland Todoroki & Snow Lily | All of Love
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	for what it's worth

**Author's Note:**

> Lily sees a troubled teen/young adult and asks "is anyone going to adopt that?" and then doesn't wait for an answer.
> 
> This is for Fiona because I promised her fluff but also for myself because I have many, many tragic feelings about myself and the person I used to be. As one does.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lily listened to the rhythmic tapping on the keyboard, sometimes interrupted by silence that seemed to increase and stretch out over time until it was just silence, no keyboard clicking in between. He waited for a few seconds, then he looked up from his phone and over to Licht. From where he was sitting, Lily could only see his brother’s Eve’s back, stiff and with perfect posture, not even touching the back of the chair. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“I’m not a pianist anymore,” Licht replied. Lily somehow knew that he had thought a lot about this before saying it, that it didn’t come out of nowhere. Sentences like this needed preparation, they stick with you for an eternity until you can’t hold them in anymore. Licht had not just come up with the statement, chances were that he had thought about it all day long, all week long. Perhaps longer. 

Lily had known him for a little over three years now. He didn’t consider him a friend but they were close enough to work next to each other while Misono had an online class in the next room and Hyde visited a play at the other side of town. Hyde had dropped his Eve off an hour ago because Licht “worked better when he had company”. Lily felt the same, so they had taken over his bedroom. Lily had offered Licht the desk, since his networking with other vampires didn’t seem as serious as whatever university work Licht was doing. 

Right now it seemed like neither of them was getting any work done. Lily locked the phone and threw it down on the bed. It disappeared in the sea of pillows and stuffed animals. 

“You are not?” Lily asked. 

Licht turned the chair to him, something very ugly in his eyes. Lily decided that a smile and some kind words weren’t going to be enough, he had to help Licht snap out of it before he could attempt to understand what was wrong. 

“I am not,” Licht said. “I haven’t played in two years. I keep saying it’s because I’m busy but that’s not it.”

He spoke at a speed at which Lily found it hard to follow. Licht didn’t look him in the eyes, he was staring at the pride flag right above Lily’s bed. He clenched his hands to fists in his lap, opened them again and took a deep breath. 

“But you still know how to play, don’t you?” Lily asked, carefully, because he didn’t think it was over yet. 

Licht's expression reached a level of anger that would usually provoke an “are you fucking kidding me” from Misono. Licht didn't say it but both of them knew it was there. He _did_ mumble something under his breath that had to be German and very vulgar because he didn’t translate it to Lily. 

“Of course I know how to play. That’s not the point. The point is that I don’t _play._ I didn’t expect you to understand.”

Now, that was more like Lily knew it from Misono. He offered Licht a smile but Hyde’s Eve didn’t return it. 

“Help me understand, then.”

“I just can’t… I used to be a pianist and now this shit-rat is going to kill me because that’s all he needed me for and all everyone ever needed me for and _fuck_!”

For a couple of terrible seconds, Lily had no idea what to say. He swallowed the heavy feeling in his chest and cleared his throat. 

“Licht,” he started with no idea where he was going to go with this. He was making it up as he went. This proved that despite all his experience, he didn’t know everything about being a caretaker. Or friend. Or whatever Licht needed him to be right now. “Playing the piano is not all anyone ever needed from you. In fact, you didn’t owe anyone anything.”

Licht frowned but looked at him like he expected to find something in his face. There had to be something because Licht’s dark eyes became a little less glossy. 

“Lawless- Hyde loves you. I can tell you this because I’m immortal and he can’t kill me for telling you,” Lily continued. 

Licht scoffed. “He doesn’t love people. He loves talent.”

“That’s what he says. It’s not true,” Lily protested. 

“I can’t use my lead anymore.”

Maybe this was the real reason Licht had started the conversation. He didn’t want a friend to talk to. He wanted a _Servamp_ to talk to. 

Lily smiled again and sat up straighter. This was something he could fix. He could help. 

“Then we’ll get you a new one,” he said. 

“You have to be kidding me,” Licht muttered. 

“I am not.”

The Eve rolled his eyes but leaned forward in his chair, obviously interested. 

“It’s possible to get a new one? A different one?”

“For starters, Mahiru’s lead changed over time,” Lily pointed out. Licht rolled his eyes and let himself fall back until the backrest tilted backwards. 

“I’m not Shirota, though,” Licht said. 

“No, you’re not. Your lead is going to be different because you are different. If Misono woke up one day and were completely healthy, I highly doubt that his lead would still turn into a chair.”

“But this would never happen,” Licht muttered. “Get to the point.”

Lily decided against pointing out that Licht had come to him. He was 21, barely an adult. He was obviously distressed. People had said far worse things to him and Lily hadn’t cared about it. 

“Humans change over time. Us vampires are a lot more… stuck, in a way. Quite literally in time but we are also bound to our sin. Humans don’t work like that. You can change. You did change, obviously.”

“But-”

“Please let me finish,” Lily said in his softest tone. Licht blushed and pulled his legs up until he was almost squatting on his chair. 

“You can talk to Hyde about this but you don’t have to. Maybe try conjuring a new lead with another emotional resource than before. Whatever makes you feel safe or strong. Or inspired.”

“Nothing inspires me, that’s the _problem_ ,” Licht said. He sounded angry but not at Lily. 

“Alright.”

Licht blinked and stared at him, obviously expecting another answer. Lily reached into the ocean of stuffed animals and finally managed to pull out his phone. 

“It can’t be that easy,” Licht said after a while. “I can’t just give myself up. That’s all I am.”

Lily raised an eyebrow, not the judging way, he hoped. Licht didn’t seem to take offense in this, thankfully. “I don’t believe you.”

Licht looked like he wanted to say something but nothing came out. He sighed, pushed his legs back down and turned the swivel chair around again. It took him a few minutes but eventually the typing noises returned. 

Lily returned to the Instagram app and managed to scroll through four posts before Licht spoke up again. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re always welcome,” Lily replied. Licht turned his head, regarded him for a couple of seconds, then he smiled. 

It broke Lily’s heart a little to see him like this, a human who was way too young to be this sad. They didn’t say much afterwards but Licht seemed to be a lot more relaxed than before. 

  
  


Hyde texted him a few days later. 

**He’s playing again, what did you do? Is it possible to learn this power?**

“No texting during the movie,” Misono complained next to him. He had put his head into Lily’s lap, always careful not to hurt him. Lily was tempted to put the phone down immediately but he couldn’t resist typing a quick response to Hyde. 

**Not from a Jedi.**

Hyde sent back a couple of carefully selected stickers of various levels of obscenity. Lily locked the phone before Misono could grab it and get emotionally scarred for life. 

“Who was that?”

“Hyde.”

“He’s texting you?” Misono’s face was full of disbelief. Lily didn’t bother with being offended by this, after all he had been surprised as well when Hyde started doing more than the annual “happy birthday” messages. 

“It was about Licht,” Lily explained and hoped that this was going to be enough. 

“I see,” Misono replied. 

“You do?”

His Eve nodded but didn’t elaborate on it. Lily had never thought about what Licht and Misono talked about when they were left alone in a room together. He had just assumed they’d either say nothing or complained about Mahiru the whole time. 

But this was better, he decided. He smiled down on Misono and put the phone down next to him. 

“Can I braid your hair? Or does that fall under the no-distraction-during-a-movie-rule?”

“No, that’s fine, I guess,” Misono muttered. Lily decided not to comment on how red his ears were.


End file.
